Why You Can (and Should) Be Your Child's Friend

The older H gets, the more I'm seeing him as an actual person rather than my baby. I have always said he's like my little adult, and through the years I've had to remind myself that he's not an adult pretty often. Especially when we're in a restaurant and he stops in the middle of an intelligent conversation to yell, "HEY MOM, YA SMELL THAT? COS I FARTED." Four has been a fun age...

We've recently began having a lot of conversations, and it's something I cherish. I have always loved being with him, but lately that's different too because I'm really noticing that the things I do are shaping him. I am realizing that he now knows what it is to lie and what it is to be honest, and he needs to know that while he can lie, he doesn't have to. I'm realizing that he needs my love now more than ever because if I were to take it away, he notices. He gets lonely, he gets frustrated, he gets excited, and I want him to feel comfortable sharing all of it with me. If we're watching Phineas and Ferb, I'll look at him every now and then and smile at him so that he knows I enjoy doing even the simplest of things with him. He has told me on more than one occasion that he thinks I'm his best friend, and right now I'm okay with that. I love that. But I see a lot of scrutiny when it comes to it.

"When you treat your child like a friend, you're telling them that they are your peer, and that their power is equal to yours."

Okay.

This is my issue with the whole "You can't be friends with your children" thing; Being a parent and being a friend are not mutually exclusive.You can be a friend to your child and make them comfortable without letting them run your home, without over-sharing, and without losing respect on either side. Is it going to be smooth sailing all the time? No way, and there are of course going to be situations when you need to be all parent, and situations in which you just need to be there for your children, regardless of who is "in charge". I am my child's friend, but he still picks up after himself. He still goes to time out when he is disrespectful, and I will still spank him if the situation calls for it. However, I treat my child with the respect I feel he deserves, and in return he is learning to respect me by example. He is not my worker. He is not my inferior. He is my son, and those words are not synonymous.

My children are going to go through incredible things, and while I wish I could shield them from the heartaches of this life, I can't. I can, however, be wise enough to know that they are going to need a safe place from time to time, and that I am going to need to be that safe place for them. Life is scary and life is difficult. Growing up is scary and growing up is difficult. I don't want to be scary and difficult too. I don't want to give my child the impression that he is a burden to me or that he "owes me one" for putting him into existence, when in fact it is I who owe him. I owe H the opportunity to have a wonderful childhood to look back on when times get tough later on. I owe him a proper upbringing, and I owe it to him to be a good example. When it comes time for him to do the important things, like choosing a wife, or finding his first church home outside of the one he grows up in, I want him to know he can come to me with it.

Saying you can not be a friend to your child completely limits what parenting and friendship really mean. I set boundaries with my friends, and I am able to set boundaries with my child. I want to be able to connect with him for the short time that I have with him. He needs to learn what love, communication, etiquette, and relationships are all about, and I feel he is more apt to listen to me if I come to him with the respect I would give to any other human. I will never stop pouring love into my relationship with my son, and he will never not have a friend in his mother.

And no, I'm not "messing him up."

Spotlight Sunday: Volume 2

Okay sugars, this weeks spotlight Sunday comes to you featuring only one brand: Too Faced. This week I recieved FOUR of their Melted Liquified Longwear Lipsticks to try and review, and I'm so thankful! If you've seen my makeup collection, you'll know that it consists of mostly lipsticks, and the four shades these came in are actually new to my collection, so I'm excited to tell y'all all about these!

The lightest shade I got was Melted Peony, which is a light dusty rose. This one is more sheer than the others, but once it dries it lasts quite a while! I layered it with a lipliner that matches my lips (I can't remember the brand) and that gave it even more staying power. I do wish it was a bit more pigmented.

Melted Jelly Donut was the next shade, and this one was way more pigmented than the Melted Peony, and was more of an opaque formula as opposed to the sheerness. Melted Jelly Donut was a bright pink-ish purple, the perfect color for a day by the pool.

The next shade I tried was Melted Candy, which was oh so hot pink! I'm not used to a shade so neon, but honestly I think it's super fun! This is a lot like Melted Jelly Donut, but with more of a true pink tone. Both proved, once again, the staying power of these lipsticks. I had to end up using a lip brush with them and the Melted Jelly Donut, because the applicator (while so soft and fluffy) applies a little messily, and once this is on your lips, it's staying!

Melted Berry was my favorite of the lot. This was the darkest shade Too Faced sent, and it's a beautiful, well... Berry color! Honestly, this was such a fitting name for this color. Melted Berry was less opaque than Melted Jelly Donut and and Melted Candy, but that gave it a softness. This is more of a gloss finish, but it's such a beautiful color.

My overall review on these? I have a love-hate relationship with the applicator. It's so soft, but I always always always have to switch to a lip brush to make it clean. HOWEVER, the staying power is amazing, and so surprising from lipsticks that are glossy. I have never experienced longevity like this from lipsticks that aren't matte, so that alone outweighs the slight negativity I feel for the applicator.

 This photo is of me wearing Too Faced Melted Peony Liquified Longwear Lipstick. Perfect shade of light pink for a demure lip!

What's your favorite shade of this Lipstick? Let me know in the comments below!

Spotlight Sunday: Volume 1

Hey sugars, and happy Sunday! More importantly, happy Father's day! Now, I know I should probably have a Daddy Day post coming out, but that's not what I've got today. Besides, things were too crazy here to have a mother's day post, so let that be my excuse ;)

No, y'all, what I have for you today is part of a new installment that I'm hoping to have up on the blog on a weekly basis called Spotlight Sunday, where I'll be reviewing my favorite product(s) from the week. I've recently been really focusing on the beauty part of blogging (though I will still be blogging on parenting, recipes, and lifestyle matters) lately, and I've found that I LOVE when I can find a product I love and tell other people about it. I'm the type of person who always searches for reviews of EVERYTHING before I buy, so I'm hoping to offer help to those who want it and of course give credit where it's due!

The first product I'm spotlighting this weekend is the IT Cosmetics Brow Power Universal Brow Pencil in Universal Taupe. This is what the IT Cosmetics website has to say about this product:

Brow Power® matches all hair colors and covers gray perfectly. The oval shaped tip is perfect for both thin and thick brows. The spooley end brush gives a natural polished look! Developed with leading plastic surgeons, our proprietary anti-aging technology infuses a blend of brow-conditioning ingredients including Saw Palmetto, Nettle Extract, Green Tea, Biotin, Lecithin, Vitamins A, C, E, Grape Seed and Panthenol. Our exclusive, transforming shade adjusts to every hair color based on how hard you press to give you a beautiful, natural-looking brow. Paraben-free, Fragrance-free, Phthalate-free and Sulfate-free. Full brow lift guide included with each pencil.

I received this product from IT Cosmetics to review just yesterday, and I'm so happy I was able to do that! Some people received Brow Power in their ipsy bags this month, however I was not one of them. I contacted IT Cosmetics and simply asked if they had any additional samples that I could review on TVP and within moments a super friendly representative said she would send me a Brow Power Pencil! Within 2 days of speaking to her, I found the pencil in the mail. Right off the bat I'm SO impressed with this company already because I loved their customer service.

Now, for the pencil itself. I am really picky about my brow products because I have such thick eyebrows naturally, but also because I've not been able to find many products that match my brows. The color of this Brow Pencil is called Universal Taupe, so it has a cool tone to it. What I love about this is that the color you get is based on the pressure you use when applying it, so you can have a light OR a dark brow with this one pencil! It went on so easily, and the oval shape did make it simpler to line underneath and above my brow to shape it, but then go back and draw a few "hairs" in to give my brows that "messy chic" look. I'm also really impressed with the spooley that it has on the end, as I have usually experienced eyebrow spooleys on the ends of pencils to be quite flimsy. However, the Brow Power Universal Brow Pencil spooley is actually pretty sturdy! All in all this pencil is going to leave my other brow products out of a job for the time being because I'm so into it! Bravo, IT Cosmetics!

The next product I'm going to be showcasing is honestly one of the best purchases I've made in a while: The Maybelline Color Tattoo 24hr Eyeshadow in Tough as Taupe.

Oh my lanta.

This stuff is a game changer. After hearing about it from one of my favorite youtubers Arna Alayne, and looking up reviews, I finally found it at WalMart and decided it was worth a shot. Great decision. So far I've used this product as eyeshadow, as an eyebrow product (it goes amazingly with Brow Power!), as the perfect contour for my pale skin, and even as a lipstick! But guys, let me say this real quick: If you buy a product and you're using it for more than one use, especially interchangeably between eyes and mouth, sanitize the product and your brushes between uses. This is very important for the sake of your health, please keep that in mind! Anyway, Tough as Taupe has blown my mind. It is the first contour product I've found that hasn't turned me orange and actually creates the illusion of a shadow, and it is amazing as a base for both your eyeshadow and lips because it lasts so freakin' long. Seriously, for example, I put Tough as Taupe on my lips as a base yesterday before using my NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in Stockholm, and it stayed on for over 6 hours. Perfectly. Honestly, I could write a book on this stuff, but instead I'm just going to tell you to go get it and see for yourself. At around $7.00 USD, this is a steal.

The last thing I want to highlight is of course the aforementioned NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in Stockholm. After purchasing this lippie in the shade Transylvania last fall, and receiving the ever famous Copenhagen as a gift for my birthday in February, I already loved and had faith in the formula. I purchased Stockholm for myself on a whim while looking for other mauve lip colors to try as well. This is the perfect "my lips but better" color on its own, but I like to put a thin coat over my other lipsticks to give it a softer effect. As I mentioned before, I used this over Tough as Taupe yesterday, and it created the most perfect dusty rose color. I keep this one in my travel makeup bag, because I do love it so much! Once again NYX has exceeded my expectations!

For this photo, I used the IT Cosmetics Brow Power Universal Brow Pencil in Universal Taupe on my brows. I used Maybelline Color Tattoo Eyeshadow in Tough as Taupe to fill in my brows as well. I also used it as a contour and a base for my lip. I used NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream in Stockholm over the Maybelline Color Tattoo Eyeshadow on my lips to create a matte Dusty Rose effect.

Well sugars, that's it for this week's Spotlight Sunday! Check back next week to see what makes the cut! Have a wonderful week, and keep smiling!

Have something you want me to try/showcase/review? Leave me a comment below and I'll do my best!